Dear Wife,
I am sending you this email to bring you
up to date on the events of our family.
  I tried to talk to you while you were
on your computer, but you just kept
telling me that you would BRB. . .
whatever that means.  So, I decided to
send you this email.

John Jr. cut his first tooth today.
  He's the one you bounce on your
knee while typing.  Remember
how he giggles when he hears the
"Ut Oh" sound?  Sorry about him dropping
his peanut butter sandwich on your keyboard.
  Is it working ok since I cleaned it up for you?
  Can you read the letters I tried to paint
back on your keyboard?  Most of them
had been rubbed off.

Susie had her first date Saturday night.
  She had a good time and said to thank you
for letting them use your car.
  She put the keys back on the key rack
underneath the cobwebs where she found them.
  Do you realize that she wears the same size
clothes as you do?  In case you've forgotten
her, she's the one who has you raise your
feet when she's running the sweeper.

Tim is playing football.
  He looks forward to going to school now
that he has a sport to play.  He wanted to
know if you would come to one of his games
if we bought you a laptop to bring along?
  Do you remember him?  He's the one who
empties your porta potty for you.

Let's see. . .
since the last time I wrote you (3 months ago),
the refrigerator had to be replaced,
the dog died from old age,
your mother and dad painted the room where
your computer is (hope you like the color),
the church has a new pastor, the President has been impeached,
and oh yes. . . I have a new job.

Well, I think that's about it.
  I'll email you again in about 3 months.
  You take care of yourself honey.
  We all "miss" you very much and
will see you the next time the power goes off!
Love,
Your Husband